I remember the day.
I believe...it was a Thursday. After class.
I was walking home, it was chilly.
But the ice from the heart that barely beat...was colder.
My heart. I was damned.
My eyes crossed the street as the car flew by unaware.
I thought about it. Maybe just one step in the wrong direction. That maybe an 18 wheeler would be the one whose engine met my body. My fragile self. I looked back at the school. The preps. The jocks. The emos. The nerds. The geeks. The self absorbed NHS group. The smart ones. The stupid ones. The pot heads. The smokers. The cutters. The sex addicts. The girls. The boys. The in-between.
But where did my guilty pleasure lie.
The only thing that seemed to be outlawed in a group of all. This was not my world.
I stepped forward, greeted by the oncoming traffic. Squealing tires. Brakes. Horns begging me to move. But I stayed. No. I started forward. I wanted that uncaring soul to drive over my already lifeless body. But no one obliged. Why did they care all of a sudden?
Then i stopped, arms open, facing traffic. But still, they swerved.
A girl in a black pick up, she had no intention of swerving. She meant to hit. Or did she?
I closed my eyes as soon as she got close enough for me to hear the pistons of the engine.... Then as if time stopped, the noise was gone. I was startled when I opened my eyes. There was the truck, the nose barely grazing my stomach. She stopped on a dime. Why? to scare me? I looked for her, but she wasn't driving anymore. She was at my side.
Screaming at me. Like she was my mother.
"What are you doing? Why? Why would you wish such a thing upon your self?" Her voice melted that ice in my heart. I wanted to melt into her arms. I wanted to curl up next to her for the rest of eternity, just because she spoke to me. In a gentle. Caring way.
"You don't know what I've been through. Get in your truck and finish the fucking job" I said as harshly as I could manage. She looked at me. And i swear she laughed. but it sound like angels. Like she wasn't human. I closed my eyes, then I felt her pull.
"get in the god damn car."
I awoke in a bed, in a room that was unfamiliar.
I stood up and walked out of the room, to what I believe was the living room. I saw that girl and she smiled.
"Your one of us aren't you?"
I raised an eyebrow.
"One of the Ravens"
My eyes shot to her, and I surveyed the room. If someone heard her, we'd be murdered.
"Don't worry, your safe here. We are protected. Have you found the one yet?"
Was she really asking that question? Had she? Or was I being hopeful?
"Not sure. Why?"
She shook her head.
"I want to know what its like...Thats all."
Rumors have told us, since from a young age, there are people called Crows. But we prefer Ravens. Crows are people that do not conform to society. Rather...Love between the same sex. Those are Crows. Ravens. It is rumored that when Crows find there true hearts, the other half if you will, that coldness, that bitterness, it vanishes.
"So you haven't?"
She again shook her head.
"Then why were you so kind? To me." She looked at me, and I saw a change in her eyes.
"We're bitter. Mean. To even eachother. That anger leaves us, when you find the person."
"Well unless you fake it that is."
"You fake it both ways..."
My wheels started spinning. I was back in the road. When I heard her voice. My heart had warmed...changed. It was no longer cold......